


Sacrifice

by jesileigh



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Compliant, Gen, So much angst, s7 spec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 07:53:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16342799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesileigh/pseuds/jesileigh
Summary: Felicity struggles in the aftermath of her visit with Oliver and her decision to send William away. Everyone has sacrifices to make.





	Sacrifice

Felicity doesn’t sleep much, if at all, that night after seeing Oliver at Slabside. Everytime her eyes slip closed and she starts to drift off, all she can see is her husband’s bruised and bleeding face. Worst of all, she can hear his voice pleading with her to go back to witness protection. To keep herself and his--their--son safe. And he is  _ theirs _ now, as far as she is concerned. It’s been just the two of them for nearly six months now and it’s hard--it’s  _ so hard _ . So much harder than she had ever given her mother credit for. What she wouldn’t give to reach out to her mom right now and beg for her to tell her everything was going to be okay. But, really, how could it be?

The last time she had gone to see a man she loved in prison she had lost him just days afterward. The overwhelming deja vu has her heaving next to the building after their visit, emptying her stomach until there’s nothing left. She wipes her mouth on the sleeve of her hoodie and climbs into the ARGUS car with shaky legs, holding herself tightly the whole way back to headquarters and sobbing until her throat is raw. 

The drive is a long one and by the time she reaches the office where she left William with John her resolve is renewed and strengthened but it doesn’t make the conversation with William any easier. The look of utter betrayal on William’s face had almost broken her. Broken her in the way Oliver seems to have been decimated. He’s quiet the rest of the evening and won’t even look at her when she tries to talk. 

It’s early, but she can’t make herself stay in bed when her entire body is screaming at her to  _ do something _ . She’s restless in a way she hasn’t been in a long time and sleep is a nothing more than a pipe dream for her at this point, so she steps into yesterday’s jeans and hoodie and pulls her streaked hair into a ponytail and dons her glasses. That alone has her feeling more like herself than she has in months. 

She knocks with trepidation on the door next to hers, thrown off-balance when it swings open almost immediately. William is there with puffy eyes and a red nose and Felicity’s heart aches when she realizes he must have been up all night too. 

“Hey,” she says gently. “I just...I wanted to talk before you go.” William shrugs at that but moves so she can join him in the tiny room. It’s a sparse set-up with just two built-in metal bunk beds and a table with a chair, mirroring the one she just came from. She spins the chair backwards and straddles it, folding her arms over the back of it and resting her chin there. William sits on the edge of his bed and stares at her.

“I think you’re really going to like Cambridge,” she says, trying to force herself to sound happy and excited but falling flat. “And this school is one of the best in the country for science and math and--”

“You said we’d always have each other,” he interrupts, fists clenched at his sides. He sounds hollow and dejected. Like all the will to fight has been taken from him. He sounds just like his dad did at the beginning of their visit the day before and it makes her chest ache. “And now you’re leaving me too. I thought you of all people would understand how much it sucks to have other people control your life and not let you have a choice!”

“Will, this is only temporary, I swear to you,” she says, grasping for his hand to show him she isn’t abandoning him. He jerks his hand out of her reach and crosses his arms. “As soon as I possibly can, I will be there to bring you home. I need you to trust me. Please. I need you to be safe.” Now  _ she  _ sounds like Oliver had the day before. Like the wild, desperate person she has become. They’ve both become.

“Yeah that’s exactly what he told us before he sent us away together,” William scoffs, rolling his eyes in the teenage way he’s perfected recently. 

“It’s not like that--” she begins, but he interjects.

“It’s exactly like that! First my mom, then my dad and now you. I don’t know why you care. I’m not even your kid, of course you don’t want me.” 

She’s honestly surprised by how much a simple comment from a pissed off teenager can hurt as much as it does. She feels like he’s punched her in the stomach. It shouldn’t surprise her, really, given that she knew exactly how to use her words as weapons at that age and just how to twist the knife to make sure her mother really felt it. 

“Don’t you dare talk like that,” she says forcefully. “William you are...you are my whole world, right now, okay? You’re everything. And I know I’m not your mom. I’m never going to be her and I don’t want to be her. But if this is even a fraction of what it feels like to be a parent I understand completely why your mom and dad made the sacrifices they made for you to be safe. All I want in the world is to make sure their sacrifices weren’t in vain. I need you to be safe, Will. Please.” Felicity bites her lip to try to keep back the torrent of tears she feels building and she can see William clearing his throat and swiping at his eyes, trying his best to do the same. 

“I don’t want to go,” he finally manages to say. “I want to be with you, Felicity. You’re all I have left and I don’t--I can’t--” The dam breaks and Felicity sobs out his name as she reaches out and pulls him into a tight hug. She strokes his hair and he lets go too, his arms around her, and they both just cry. For nearly six months the two of them had held it together so well. Neither of them would ever know if Felicity was trying to be strong for William or if it was the other way around, but now as they faced the terrifying unknown the emotions were too much to handle. It takes a few minutes before Felicity manages to speak again, but she finally sits back and wipes her eyes on her sleeve to ask,

“Do you remember that third night in Hope Springs this summer?” Will nods and chuckles a bit at the memory. 

“When I came out of my room in the middle of the night and you were eating ice cream on the couch and watching Friends on Netflix?”

“Yeah,” she smiles at him. “And we sat together eating ice cream and binging television until we fell asleep every time one of us had a nightmare after that. I’m sure your teachers thought I was a world class parent.” William laughs and shakes his head at her.

“You are,” he says soberly after a beat. “You’re actually pretty great at it. And I’m sorry for what I said about you not being--”

“I get it,” Felicity insists, waving off his apology. “You’ve been through so much. And you miss your mom. And your dad. And I’m just...trying really hard to do the things I think they would have wanted me to do, you know?” She shrugs. It’s something that has eaten at her since the moment she realized she was becoming a stepmother, but until now she’s never actually said it out loud to anyone. It feels vulnerable and uncomfortable, but Will just reaches out and squeezes her hand before he smiles and says,

“My mom would think you’re doing awesome.” Felicity’s eyes well up with tears all over again and she doesn’t even try to stop them this time. 

“That means a lot,” she says. “I love you, kid. More than you know.”

“I love you too, Felicity,” William says. “And I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Yeah. Me too, kid. I can’t wait for this to all be over,” she sighs. 

“And for Dad to come home,” William adds and Felicity nods her agreement. 

“Definitely. Then maybe a family vacation to like...Disneyland or something.”

“Harry Potter World?” William suggests with a glint in his eye and Felicity grins at him.    
“Oh absolutely. Your dad needs to get sorted.”

“He’s a Hufflepuff,” William says with certainty. 

“You think?” Felicity asks. “I always had him pegged as a Gryffindor.”

“Well yeah, he’s brave and strong so I guess--” 

 

William is interrupted by a knock at the door. Felicity reaches over to turn the knob and sees John on the other side with two other agents carrying bags.

“You ready to go?” he asks and Felicity watches as the smile fades from William's face. 

“Oh, yeah...I guess,” William says with a shrug. He stands from the bed and Felicity jumps up to hug him one more time. 

“This will all be over before you know it,” she says, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “I promise you that I’ll come get you soon, okay?” William pulls back and nods.

She watches as he slings his bag over his arm and follows the agents down the long hallway, throwing one last look over his shoulder at her before he steps into the elevator and disappears from her view. Felicity goes back to her bunk and closes the door, sliding down it until she reaches the floor, her tears falling freely again. She allows herself ten minutes to grieve. Ten minutes to worry and cry and beg the universe to bring her boys home to her. And then she stands up, dusts herself off and heads to find Curtis and John. 

 

They have a dragon to slay.

 


End file.
